Right Now

Bonjour mes amis!

I feel like I am starting over with this little blog in a way. To be honest, having this little web address in my life has really been the only constant thing in my life for quite some time. If you look at my first post (it's probably when I was just about to be a freshman in high school) to now, everything has changed. Schools. Friends. Family. Ambitions. Goals. Dreams. What I like to eat for breakfast or what lotion I put on before bed. Everything is different. 

As for blogging goes, my creative output has been zero, and I know that. I've kept up with blogs that I have always loved and then some, but this little blog has been pushed to the back burner. To be  completely honest, I felt like anything that I put on the internet wouldn't be good enough. That and coupled with an insane amount of change in my life, I chose to go to bed thirty minutes earlier (or sometimes aimlessly scrolling through the internet) than to take that time and collect date and write a blog post. I'm changing that. 

Ready for the real wakeup moment? I am seventeen and my eighteenth birthday is fast approaching, well it's in October, but still. I'm going to be a senior at the end of this school year and college at the end of next. I need to take the SAT and finish my college visits and write my college apps and build my resume. This past junior year I have been doing a lot of thinking. I think about the future and about the past, about what could be and what I want or need. Notice anything missing? I am not thinking about the now or what I have. I am always constantly in a losing battle with thinking about anything other than right in this very moment and getting ahead of myself in mindset or doing nothing at all. Writing these words, right now is probably this first time in a long time that I am thinking about the now.

And from ignoring the present and dwelling in the past or overwhelming myself with the future, my life has become one giant knot that I am scrambling to undo, almost racing time but not quite. There is so much I need to do before I go to college and start the next chapter of my life. So, on my little corner of the internet as much as this is for you to get to know me, I am getting to know myself as well.

Welcome to the my new journey where I focus upon myself in the present to help the person I will be in the future. Cheers to mystery and adventure and life!!

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