4/28/2020

What is Real


Without a doubt I am writing this post as a form of productive (?) procrastination for the three papers that stand between me and the end of college - two of which are near completion. Once the boxes of my final to-do list are checked and the last "submit" buttons have been pressed, I believe I am finally at a place where I am ready to voice my opinions on the current state of our world. I am so blessed to be at home with my parents in Charleston, South Carolina during this time and focus my monkey brain with the familiarity of the task of doing schoolwork.

Once I am done, however, all kinds of security blankets will be taken from me as I look the real adult world right in the eyes. Except, the world I will be taking on will be completely different than the one I knew before because the reality is that every single thing has or will be changed. For now, I am still in the practice of holding on to what is real. What is very real to me right now is that all of my hard work, grit, tears, anxiousness and ups and downs is culminating into three final check boxes on a to do list. This feeling is surreal, and I think that is even an understatement.

I'm not one for large celebrations (I've never had a big birthday party, nor do I intend on having a large wedding). In fact, I much prefer to sit back and watch the chapters of my life close and quickly and quietly move right along into the next one. This milestone is different, there is something about celebrating the bittersweet end of a very unique college experience that necessitates a deep breath to bring time to a standstill and let this achievement sink in.

While there will be no commencement in May, no last time doing *insert any activity here* at college and no hugging my friends who I have made along the way, the simplicity of celebrating this achievement by myself seems fitting.

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